3rd
Five Reasons to Write a List for McSweeney’s
1. Writing a list takes less time than writing an essay, a story or a novel. You can even do it while cooking spaghetti. See, I’ve already finished 1/5th of my list.
2. If you’re a girl or have any anal-retentive qualities whatsoever, writing a list is as second nature as well, writing a list. (Not to mention making tautological statements in parantheticals.)
3. If your list actually gets published by McSweeney’s you can post a link to it on your Facebook account with the gleeful caption: “Published Work”.
4. Assuming the realization of 3., you can now spend a productive day at work refreshing your Facebook page all day and watch as the comments pour in:
Mom: “My child, the writer!”
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: “I’m so proud of you babe!”
Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend: “I knew I shouldn’t have ended our relationship. Want to get coffee sometime?”
5. If your list is just a little too obnoxious and doesn’t get published, you can always publish it yourself on your own blog with a quippy title such as: “Rejected McSweeney’s List No. 9” (Chanel No. 9 ad picture optional, and only for the truly clever.) This may make you appear even more self-deprecating and ironic — or obnoxious — than if your list was actually published by McSweeney’s.
